Korean BBQ: how to order like a local

I will be honest: the first time I sat down to Korean barbecue in Seoul I had
no idea what I was doing. I had spent the afternoon in a hanbok at
Gyeongbokgung and walked into Myeongdong hungry, past more signs than I could
take in. I picked a place, rode the lift to the fifth floor, pointed at
something on a menu I could not read, and waited to see what would happen.

What arrived was a pile of raw meat and a heater set into the middle of the
table, and no instructions at all. It was obvious I had no clue, so the staff
came over and showed me, cheerfully, how it works: you grill the meat
yourself, a few pieces at a time, snip it with scissors, and wrap each bite in
a lettuce leaf with a smear of paste, a little garlic and some kimchi. That is
the whole ritual, and once you have it, it is brilliant.

Things I learned the hard way. One, you order by the portion, and a portion
that reads small on the menu is not; I ordered far too much for one person.
Two, the little side dishes keep arriving and keep being refilled, so do not
fill up on them before the meat is ready. Three, let someone show you the
first wrap. Nobody minds, and it is faster than guessing.

One more observation from the street. Almost every restaurant in Seoul
advertises itself with large photographs of raw meat on the door, and for me
that did the opposite of what it was meant to. Go in anyway. The food is
nothing like the poster.

It is communal, hands-on and completely undignified in the best way, and it is
the meal I would send anyone to on their first night. Order less than you
think, wrap more than you think, and you have got it. Whether that counts as
ordering like a local, I could not tell you. It is at least ordering like
someone who has done it once.